Procrastination rant\apology

Yes, I am sooooo guilty of procrastinating and I'm not quite sure why. A part of me thinks that it correlates to my depression and my insecurities because I am usually a let's get it done kind of person. I want to get things done but I think my insecurities get the best of me. The whole, who the F ****cares anyway , kind of mentality. I believe this comes from that part of my brain that likes to keep me down and pessimistic. I like my stories; I love them actually, I think they are really good, but because I'm pretty much an unknown author my pessimistic brain tells me that nobody really cares if I ever publish another Ebook. Newsflash to myself, I CARE! I want my babies out there. My hot as hell guys and my kickass women deserve a spotlight outside of my noggin. So, I tell you all of this to say I have been a procrastinating piece of blank. Last year I was so proud of myself because I had two stories in the Rivercast Immortals finished. I just had to edit them and format them for publication. I was all like," I can actually publish 2 stories in 2019 if I really want to" HA! Here we are today November twenty-something and I just finished editing book 6. So now I am trying like crazy to finish and publish before 2020. Oh yeah I forgot to say that if you go to my books page you will see that I had already posted the cover of book 6 with a coming in 2019 announcement. Learn my lesson folks! Now I now why Coming soon exists. In any case I am in the formatting stage now and I hope I can keep my word and at least publish on Smashwords before 2019 is done for. Guess that's a good thing about not having that many fans. Still my imaginary friends are gonna be pissed off if I fail. Same goes for my YouTube channel. I know I should post more, because I enjoyed it and it felt like the pretend play I would do in front of the mirror when I was like 8 years old. It's fun and it gives me an excuse to put on crazy makeup. Okay, rant over. I do want to apologize to anyone out there who is waiting on my book. I'm working on it I promise. Take care folks and wish me luck!