The beginnings of a writer

To understand my journey we must go to the beginning; actually a month before the beginning. My mother, heavily pregnant with me got in a bad car crash that scared the bejeezus out of her. I steadfastly believe that my mother wasn't the only one who was affected by the experience. Since I can remember I've had severe anxiety. My earliest memories are of me hiding behind my mother's legs. This made me be a lonely, introverted, special child. My mother bought me storybooks and books on tape and vinyl (Yep, I'm that old). I loved all the fairytales and fables, and found myself pretending I was part of them. Then Barbies came into the picture, and the opportunity to create my own tales of love and fairytales. My best friend Mari was my co author of sorts. We created awesome stories that grew as we did. Silly stories became complicated soap operas and the rating went from G to R. We would laugh, cry and often say, "Man this would make an awesome movie!"

When most teenage girls dated I hoped to find a love that never came. Unrequited love gave me the fuel to write poetry; really sad depressing poetry, and then came what my older sister called 'Pensamiento' which translates to 'Thought'. It was a romantic love story where you are the protagonist and it usually involved a celebrity crush. I guess it was similar to a fan-fiction, before the whole fan-fiction thing was a thing ;) You could either write it for your friend or for yourself. I had very few friends then. My best friend was very popular with the boys, so she was not really all that interested in hanging out with me. So severe social anxiety, boredom and a broken, depressed heart were my motivating factors to begin my journey as a writer. I have always been a hopeless romantic, so my stories and poems have always revolved around love or the lack of. Slowly my room began to fill with composition notebooks and journals, and the characters became completely fictional. My love for fantasy inspired me to create stories about fairies, unicorns and mermaids. Interview with a Vampire and The Lost Boys made my hormonal teenage self look to those paranormal beings as heroes and love interests. And so I began my journey as a paranormal romance writer, but my crippling anxiety and lack of self esteem made me hide my stories from the world. They were for my eyes only, because they weren't good enough; I wasn't good enough. It took me a very long time and a lot of growing up to have the courage to show my work to anyone. With the advent of the internet there was a wide world audience, and I didn't even have to face them. Sadly I cannot remember the story I posted first. I began posting Fan-fiction, poems and short stories in sites like Fanfiction.net

I will never forget that first notification that said someone had reviewed my story. It was nerve-wracking to say the least. I was so scared, especially because English is not my first language and it showed (Heck, who am I kidding, it still does). The few reviews I got were all positive. Even the ones telling me how horrible my grammar was praised the story itself. That did wonders for me, because it showed me that someone out there loved my story, wanted more. I couldn't believe I've made someone cry or laugh, or both! I wasn't the only one that liked my stories, and as a born storyteller that was enough motivation. I then began to look into publishing and the endless road it usually entails. I had no money, no editor, no agent and no way of getting one. I entered a couple of contest here and there, but then suddenly , as it usually happens, life got hard; very hard indeed. My toddler son was diagnosed with autism and my world imploded. My dreams had to take a vicious turn and life and dreams would never be the same. He also has a mood disorder which means he is extremely aggressive and loves to scream at the top of his lungs for no reason. My dreams of becoming anything became irrelevant because my child needed me. Nobody could deal with him, teachers were stumped and clueless about him. Everything that worked on other autistic children failed with him. We are still living the struggle and will live it forever. Years of suffering and hopelessness passed and I found my solace in Paranormal Romance novels. Writing my stories and reading my novels kept me somewhat sane. I needed an escape from the hells of real life and romance writing did that for me. That is why at the end of my books I call my pen and paper my therapists. They really are that. With the advent of self publishing the major hurdle of publication was lessen. I would still have to work extremely hard and work as my own team, but it was possible. The first thing I did was give myself a deadline. "I will publish my first full size novel before I turn 40 years old." I worked really hard and had the love and support of my wonderful, amazing husband/editor. My first novel was published through Smashwords on 2012; I was 39 years old. There is still a lot to learn for me, as I still consider myself a newcomer. I haven't made it big and few people know about me and my books, but I am working hard to change that, and to learn how to become a better writer. I write books for me, books that I want to read; books that move me and make me cry while editing it for the third or fourth time. I will always write romance, even if don't make any money from it because I love it. I want you to read my stories and escape your own reality. I want you to follow your dreams and believe that someday, somehow you will reach them, even if just in part. Be bold and know that there is someone out there waiting for what you can offer.

Love Deep, Laugh Hard, Live Now,

Maggie